What’s it going to take for you to be honest about your life goals?

My life lesson from the New Year’s Eve bushfires.

Author: Tom Haigh

 

For many, establishing New Year’s resolutions can be a challenging exercise. Whilst it is an opportunity to ‘wipe the slate clean’ we often set resolutions and goals without sufficient end-value to motivate us, or without an understanding of the steps required to make significant and lasting change.

Ordinarily, I’m no different. That was until 31 December 2019 – a pivotal moment in my life. A moment when everything changed.

The clarity and perspective you experience in a life-or-death experience is unparalleled. I spent this New Year’s Eve in Mallacoota with my family, sheltering from an out-of-control bushfire that had ravaged many parts of Eastern Victoria – claiming lives, destroying property and creating a terrifying experience for all who stood in its path. We were incredibly lucky to be spared, thankful beyond words for the work of the courageous firefighters who protected us and for the act of God that saw the fire change path when it was upon us.

In this moment, when you fear all that is precious to you may be lost, you receive an unshakeable reminder of what is important in your life. For me, it was about time with my family, or more importantly the quality of time I spent with family. Being self-employed, I often find it incredibly difficult to switch-off and be fully present with my family. I’m often guilty of ‘chasing too many rabbits’ to quote a Chinese proverb.

My resolutions or commitments for 2020 are structured around creating the time, space and rules for this to all change.

CEO of coveted magazine Monocle Tyler Brule experienced similar clarity and motivation for change when recovering from gunshot wounds he sustained when working as a foreign correspondent in Afghanistan, leading him to “…focus on the fundamentals of quality of life”. For Brule “the epiphany was to feel more committed to doing good journalism and to do it on my terms”, leading Brule to start Wallpaper a magazine focused on interiors and architecture, and later Monocle which covers international affairs, culture, fashion and design.

Whilst my goals for 2020 crystallised without any effort, research by fitness app Strava alerted me to the fact that of the 31.5 million people included in their survey, New Year’s resolutions lasted an average of just 12 days. Therefore, I knew that if they were to be life-long changes I would need to ensure that I followed the steps utilised by the world’s best when making successful change.

A recent article released by Harvard Health Publishing (HHP) highlights the 7 steps you can follow to create life-long change. I’ve summarised the steps below and provided further detail in the body of this article.

 

The 7-Steps for Big Changes in 2020

1. Dream BIG: HHP note that audacious goals are compelling, particularly when shared with those around you who will support you. Ensure you imagine and remind yourself of how you would feel when you had achieved your goal as it is incredibly important when it comes to staying motivated.
2. Break big dreams into small steps: a crucial step supported by Psychologist Dr Marny Lishman who in a recent interview with Virgin Australia Magazine notes “ In order to be attainable they (big dreams) need to broken down into small goals or steps that involve actions.” Author Tim Ferriss talks about utilising small steps as a way to “rig the game in your favour”, i.e. by making the steps small, tangible and easily achievable, Ferriss argues that achieving small wins provides the positive mental energy necessary to keep moving forward rather than quitting when we don’t achieve the larger goal as quickly as we would like.
3. Understand why you need to make a change: make a list of all the positive and negative things associated with your current behaviour or the thing you are striving to change. A physical list of all the negative things can serve as an important reminder of why “adopting a new behaviour (is) more important than standing in place.”
4. Commit yourself: HHP recommend making yourself more accountable by “making a written or verbal promise to people you don’t want to let down”. From experience, making your goals and resolutions public can serve as incredible and lasting motivator owing to the fear of public failure.
5. Don’t forget to reward yourself: successful business coach Daniel Brown is big on celebrating ‘all the small wins’. As a mentor, he often reminds me of the importance of regularly stopping to reflect on the progress you have made. It can be a long slog so don’t forget to stay motivated by remembering where you stared and how far you’ve come.
6. Learn from the past: think about all the times you have failed to make a change and learn from that approach. Each attempt will provide you with learnings and an opportunity to better tackle your goal. Breaking things down into smaller, more actionable and achievable steps is an incredibly common catalyst for success.
7. Give thanks for what you do: HHP recommend forgetting perfection. Don’t dwell on how well you did or didn’t execute each step along the way, remain focused on the progress you have made and on reminding yourself of how you will feel when you achieve your goal.

 

I hope you find this to be a helpful and actionable blueprint for achieving your resolutions and goals in 2020. Be honest with yourself, commit to making the change, follow the steps above and the rest will take care of itself. More important of all, don’t wait for a life-threatening event to make changes in your life that you know deep down you should.

 

Here’s to a happy, healthy and successful 2020!

Tom Haigh

 

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